sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize