what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
