Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
