Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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