FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
