She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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