Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
