He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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