Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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