I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
