I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
whose parrot is this?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
