was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
