Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You made out with two different species that night
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
