Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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