jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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