i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
