Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize