I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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