i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
