Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My life is pants optional.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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