my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
