I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
