Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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