Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
