I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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