If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
