Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
