are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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