He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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