Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize