just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
this is an emotional support booty call
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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