so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i now understand why vodka
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
