I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize