and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
