nut hugger
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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