I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
