Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
