she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
