im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Sorry my hands just texted you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize