I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
