I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think my fart just growled at me.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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