is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
