Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
