In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
