I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
