she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
