sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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