I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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