period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
