Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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