Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I showed him my bush... on skype.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
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