i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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