You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
