the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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