6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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