got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize