Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
