Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
