Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
