trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
