I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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