So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
