Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize