i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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