Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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