If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
