going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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