So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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