someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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