I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
