babies were throwing up all over the place
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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